I remember back in the 80s when Whitney Houston came out with the song, “The Greatest Love of All”. I loved the song; but I disagreed with the lyrics. For those of you who haven’t heard the song, she talks about how loving yourself is the greatest love of all. Well, I had this boyfriend (who is now my husband) who was the love of my life! How could she say that you needed to love yourself more than I loved him? I didn’t get it.
Not sure why this bothered me so much, but it did. I talked to different people about the song getting their thoughts on the lyrics. I was asking my roommate, Gina Sekelsky, about it one day and she said, “Mary, she is right. Loving yourself is the greatest love of all, but she is wrong about it being easy to achieve.” I thought, “What did Gina know, she didn’t even have a boyfriend?” I had it all figured out at the ripe age of 19! I was getting married, having kids, and going to be happy. She just wasn’t mature enough to understand. (:
I don’t know when I discovered she was right-probably in my late 30s but I never forgot that conversation. It must have hit on a truth I had known all along. I had to love myself if I was going to be happy. I had to love my body (never happy with it), my mind (a lot of people were WAY smarter than me) and my spirit (I have a quirky sense of humor andsome many strange habits). I was unique but I didn’t really like that. I spent my life trying to fit in, to be like so and so. They had it all together. I was constantly comparing myself to others.
I recently heard that comparison is the thief of happiness. This is so true. As a teacher for over 20 years, I have never had the same child twice! I would always tell the kids, “Don’t compare yourself to others-be yourself.” i didn’t practice this myself. I started to realize that no two human are the same and as much as we want to label them, it just doesn’t work. We have a lot of similarities; but we are not the same. Each person can add value to this world we live in. Actually, that was God’s design. It is quite a miracle when you think about it!
So I am starting with myself this year, trying to love myself as I am and trying to make improvements that I know will be good for me and add value to me. I have joined clubs, church groups, yoga classes and I have started meditating. I will continue to grow myself through books, music, movies and art. I need to continue this lifelong romance with myself to add value to the world. It feels a little selfish; but I think the payoff is going to be in the relationships I have with others.
Not sure why this bothered me so much, but it did. I talked to different people about the song getting their thoughts on the lyrics. I was asking my roommate, Gina Sekelsky, about it one day and she said, “Mary, she is right. Loving yourself is the greatest love of all, but she is wrong about it being easy to achieve.” I thought, “What did Gina know, she didn’t even have a boyfriend?” I had it all figured out at the ripe age of 19! I was getting married, having kids, and going to be happy. She just wasn’t mature enough to understand. (:
I don’t know when I discovered she was right-probably in my late 30s but I never forgot that conversation. It must have hit on a truth I had known all along. I had to love myself if I was going to be happy. I had to love my body (never happy with it), my mind (a lot of people were WAY smarter than me) and my spirit (I have a quirky sense of humor and
I recently heard that comparison is the thief of happiness. This is so true. As a teacher for over 20 years, I have never had the same child twice! I would always tell the kids, “Don’t compare yourself to others-be yourself.” i didn’t practice this myself. I started to realize that no two human are the same and as much as we want to label them, it just doesn’t work. We have a lot of similarities; but we are not the same. Each person can add value to this world we live in. Actually, that was God’s design. It is quite a miracle when you think about it!
So I am starting with myself this year, trying to love myself as I am and trying to make improvements that I know will be good for me and add value to me. I have joined clubs, church groups, yoga classes and I have started meditating. I will continue to grow myself through books, music, movies and art. I need to continue this lifelong romance with myself to add value to the world. It feels a little selfish; but I think the payoff is going to be in the relationships I have with others.
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