I really like my family.  It may seem strange to start out with this statement but I know people who do not really LIKE their families.  They LOVE their family but they don’t like spending time with them.  I am very fortunate that I like spending time with my family.  They are a really fun group of people.  When you appreciate each person’s uniqueness, understand them, and accept their differences you can really start to enjoy them.
A few years back, I read a book that my former brother-in-law recommended to me.  He was going through a divorce and he wanted to let me know that he read the book too late.  It is called The Five Languages of Love by John Chapman.   The premise of the book is that there are five love languages and people tend to gravitate towards one or two of them.  It makes them feel happiest when people speak their language. It shows them they are loved by speaking their language.  Here are the five languages:
1.  Physical Touch
2. Compliments
3.  Quality Time
4. Acts of Service
5. Gifts
My husband and I took the quiz and it turns out that he likes quality time and physical touch.  I prefer compliments and gifts.  We are very different in that way.  For Valentine’s or his birthday, I try to get him an “experience” like going out to eat, seeing a concert or spending the night in a hotel.  He just wants to spend time with me.  For my birthday, I want a thoughtful gift and maybe a card saying how great I am. (:  I like making him happy so speaking his language has been good for our marriage.  It helps him to understand when he doesn’t compliment me; and I get mad.  It would be easier if we had one in common but it’s alright because we seek to understand each other.
After I read this book, I started becoming more aware of my family’s love language. I have a daughter, 24, who loves gifts and compliments.  I have a son, 20, who loves compliments and gifts.  I have a second son, 14, who loves physical touch and gifts.  So on special occasions I try to speak to their language so they can feel the love.
It’s a good thing my kids all like gifts because I LOVE to give gifts. Usually the love language you speak best is the one that makes you the happiest also. It was difficult to help my husband understand this concept but he has come a long way. I am not afraid to communicate my needs to him and it makes for a much happier marriage.
Speaking each person’s love language has been a way to add value to my family.  I love to make them happy.  When they are happy, I am happy.
Which love language do you speak?  Here a website explaining the Five Love Languages http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ so you can learn about how to add value to your family members.
Taking the time to understand my family has really changed my life and helped me understand their wonderful differences.